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Conversations With Claude #3

Thought I might find you here…

Oh, hello Dear:/-

Don’t ‘Dear’ me, Claude, you little:/-  Get back here!  Get down here, now!

Not until you calm down!

I’m gonna wring your bloody neck!

There really is no need for unpleasantries:/-  stop that!  People are looking:/-

I don’t CARE! 

They’ll lock you up!

No, they’ll lock you up.  Lock you up and dissect you! Chop you up into tiny, little, silent pieces, hopefully!

Don’t cry…

Are you alright?

Why, Claude…why’d you do it?

He’s not right for you.

Who the hell are you to decide! 

Trust that I am right.

You shit on him!  You bloody shit all over him!

I’ll admit, it wasn’t pretty but:/-

You must have been saving it up for a week! You and your verminous friends!

They simply did me a favour and I’d do it again if:/-

Do me a favour and leave me alone!  I swear to God, I will pluck every feather from your horrible little head if I so much hear:/-

You’re getting angry again.  Just breathe…relax; wargh!


People. Are. Looking!

So?  You’re the freak, I just:/-

Only you can hear me.


Oh, now.  Come on, dear, please. Please get up.  Stop crying,  I find it very upsetting:/-

What the hell is wrong with me!

Oh, you silly thing.  Nothing! Absolutely nothing, here; would you like a tissue?

You’ve got tissues! Oh, Of course you’ve got tissues!  Why wouldn’t you have tissues! Everybody needs:/-    OWWW!

I’m sorry I had to do that. 

Just go away, Claude.  Please! Just leave me:/-

Calm yourself down.  Just calm down, that’s it.  Just pull yourself together and I’ll explain.

I really liked him, Claude.  I liked him and it was all just fine until you decided to make me look insane…

Insanity is a misused term, he probably just thought you were:/-

For crying out loud!  Shut up!  Just shut up! I can’t take any more of this! What do you want!

I don’t want anything, Dear, simply to help:/-

Help!  Help what?  Ruin my life?  Ruin everything?  Make me crazy?

Make you fly.

Do you want blood, is that it?  Do you want me to die, proving you wrong? Come on then! Let’s climb right up there and I’ll jump! I’ll bloody do it, Claude! I’ll do it right now!

You’ve got everything mixed up.  I assure you that I only have your best intere:/-

Oh my God!  I can’t do this!  I can’t take another min:/-

I think it’s time.

What, Claude!  Time for what?!  What now!


To teach you.





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Gin and Tulips; The home of the frolicking G&T Lovers. Come in, pull up a comfy seat and make yourself at home. And if you like it. Join us.

16 responses »

  1. Hee hee hee… and then the ending! A dark and ominous part 4 in the offing I hope.

  2. I guess you will think I am on a whole other page but as in art, writing is all in the eyes of the beholder. I hope you won’t mind a different take on this. When I got upset in my life with a man, I used to yell. I mean my parents were like Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton, an old time couple who would have thrown pots and pans. I remember a plate of spaghetti getting thrown one time at the wall… Anyway, I am going to say you are not crazy or insane. I will tell you this, although I have been called once and only once (that was the END of HIM!) a “psycho bitch.” The person who cares will not mind if you lose your cool. Thoroughly and loudly, because that’s part of love. Being a sounding board or the safe place to let it all hang out.

  3. Wow, wow, wow. This is taking a delightfully dark turn.

  4. Somehow along the way, I missed #1 and #2, but #3 intrigued me so, that I had to go back and start at the beginning. Wonderful. I look forward to more.

  5. This is such an interesting series…

  6. You know I love your stuff…..But this work with Claude is really stretching you. The more you write, the more I read!! Love it!


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